C’est la V

From the XS of our Alsatian XmaS it was time to visit a country that just missed out on being included in Z2A and FFS and it seemed fitting to get there on this trip X, LuXembourg.

Thankfully, for us and the readers, the train from Colmar to Luxembourg went smoothly. However, it was a classic let’s-try-to-knock-off-an-entire-country-in-a-day-and-pick-the-only-day-of-the-year-that-the-whole-country-shuts-down situation. Luxembourg city was beautiful, we had a great, albeit terrifying balcony looking over the Xmas markets and the gorge, managed to find some cool (read: open) bars to eat and drink the night away and and made the most of having the streets to ourselves to explore and work out what we would have done…if it were open.

Another smooth trip to the freezing town of Nancy, France, was interrupted once we got into our hotel room and James noticed an alert on his phone indicating someone had been spotted on the security camera late at night back home. Upon proceeding to check the live cam feed we managed to catch the flicker of lights down the side of our house….not festive belated carol singer lights, but more let’s see if we can open any windows type torch lights. The following is a true account of the events that followed:

James: “Merde”

Lea: “Well talk to them!”

James: “Merde”

James (over camera microphone): “Allo, allo…can I help you.” (Thus establishing dominance.)

Ready and armed with the next line of “Pretty please stop robbing us Mr burglar”, a confrontation was avoided as we realised it was, in fact, a neighbour trying to find our mains tap as a pipe had burst and was spraying onto the street. So, presumably, attracting local children to dance in the fountain to get out of the 40 degree Perth heat (we could only dream of). Crisis avoided, now we just get to look forward to 24 hours travel followed by a bottled water showers when we get home.

Did I mention it was cold, it was ffffff…freezing in Nancy. So much so that James, in a bid to keep warm, choked on cup of cloves while hiding at a bar in a tunnel and trying to down Vin Chaud as quickly as possible. Then, almost as a “screw you” to the hemisphere’s Christmas weather, needlessly ordered the reindeer for dinner, just two days after they’d completed their annual service. It was delicious, although Rudolph had his revenge as he made my nose glow, shiny and red (like a lighbulb)! (or it may have been the sub zero temperatures and abundance of vin chaud…we’ll never know.)

We found some cool bars, one was a tiny place with the majority of outside seating where we got to witness a true French experience as the locals battled the fabled tag team of emphysema and frostbite. And there were some great, more adult inclined XmaS markets in Nancy. One in particular was classified as an outside bar (“outside”=a temporary dwelling delegated outside status to allow for smoking), where we stumbled in on a French-pop sing along with all the hits you’ve never heard of and where our screams of play “Horses” or “You’re the voice” fell on deaf ears…… then we needed to hang our clothes up next to an open window and sleep in the cold in order to avoid being charged for smoking.

Our train to Epernay (Champagne) was surreal. We felt like a literal (and perhaps metaphorical) fog covered the entire country. Where the fog receded for a moment, the sun shone on the frosted fields making the trees’ shadows look like they were wearing seasonal white jackets as the thawing frost left them with a thin white glow.

Our first Champagne tasting was outside. James, full of adrenaline to make a mends for the last time in Epernay (reminder: “POP”), did’t feel a thing as he chased Champagne glasses across iced bench tops, ensuring we were drinking fast enough to avoid the wines freezing. So cold, “how cold was it?”. So cold, even the tiny Xmas markets in Epernay were named: “Eper-neige”. A totally James approved pun, with “Neige” being French for “snow”…get it? That’s Champagne comedy.

We eventually worked out, when in Epernay, in winter, what the best way to keep warm is. Thankfully it’s the same answer as in summer to keep cool, cave (cellar) tours! On one of the more interesting tours we were shown an old green glass Champagne bottle and were told how they used to be made with very high levels of Uranium oxides for colour and, for fun, would glow in the dark. Which, less fun, would also kill you. A lovely lady on the tour also pointed out that she had plates at home that glowed in the dark under a black light. Now, I don’t know why she said this, it doesn’t sound like the same thing AT ALL, but she did…so James looked at Lea, mumbled something, Lea first giggled, then scowled and shook her head (a common sequence), and James could only bite his tongue instead of offering up suggestions for what might have happened to the plates. So hard he even drew blood…ironically, his lips now also likely glow under a black light.

Our most dangerous activity of the holiday was when we went spelunking. Descending 106 steps some 20m into a wet cave, with clay rich floors and surrounded by un-exploded munitions (ie. high pressured Champagne bottles). Or maybe when it was when James was nearly sacrificed to Bacchus or some other pagan gods when laughing at scallop shells placed on barrels in a biodynamic winery; or eating duck, so rare you could almost make out what it was quacking… “something, something…rabbit season” perhaps? Farewell Epernay, sorry we forgot to see the church…again.

Last stop, Paris…what to say about Paris. We bought/rented (when writing I wasn’t sure which one, not obvious based on price) a 5th floor apartment on the rue de Rivoli, overlooking St Paul’s. What else to say bout Paris:

The first night James ate a Quasi de veau (with veau maybe meaning calf…so we were fascinated to see what might turn up pretending to be veal);
We accidentally went to a (just lost but trying to regain) Michellin star restaurant because we loved how very basic it was 6 years ago and squabbled over who would order the pigeon;
We spent New Year’s Eve in our apartment with all our new friends: Laurent, Leclerc, Piper, Pol, Lally, Tatty and Mrs Cliquot, which was a bit tight given there was only one coq to share round…before venturing out to a bridge over the Seine to bring in 2025 watching fireworks over the Arc de Triumph and being shown that our discreet street drinking wasn’t required;
We saw, potentially our new best friend, on new year’s day popping Champagne by himself on a park bench yelling “Bonne Annee” (and simultaneous thoughts of: we should stay away and; oh…I guess thats what we look like…)
Lea got beaten by a cheese plate on Ile St Louis!! Cheese: 1, Lea: the rest (all by KO);
We wandered though areas to know where not to stay next time;
We saw new parks, markets, streets, galleries, museums, cemeteries and one disappointing canal that we’d never visited before;
We ate at an Italian restaurant so we could have some different flavours for once…Lea ordered pasta…with cheese…and creamy mushrooms, reminiscing over meals as far back as last week;
We also did our favourite Parisian things: drank Champagne on the balcony, in the lift (did i say fifth floor?), on the street, sitting by the Seine, on benches at Place des Voges and Place St Catherine (well away from aforementioned new friend) and at the breathtaking Palais Garnier;
We drank Champagne on top of the Montparnasse tower;
We narrowly missed a couple of opportunities to go to the Monet galleries and drink Champagne at Tuilleries or the Jardin d’Acclamitation, but having been to Giverny and Tuilleries previously, we had enough photos to do our own slide show at home. So we got our Monet for nothing and our clicks for free;
And on our last day, in an obvious bid to make James cry, while touring Victor Hugo’s house, Lea launched into a verse of One Day More!!