…wein.

Unfortunately this post covers all our time in Germany, not just Munich, so Lea’s suggestion of “It’s Bavarian to look a lot like Christmas” couldn’t be used.

XS24 got off to a great start by living up to its name, when, in the lounge in Dubai, some airlne big wig turned up and a proportionate response in service was observed as the bartender began roaming around pouring out vintage Moet like their livelihood depended on it…which it very possibly did, and we were happy to help out.

After a train from Munich airport, we popped up out of the ground in the middle of the Christmas markets of Marienplatz! With James brimming with joy and looking simultaneously like the oldest backpacker ever, and the only 42 year old around looking so excited for Christmas.

Christmas market count: 1

Our hotel was only a short stroll away, a far cry from the distance away we were on our first European adventure together, where James, at 30, looked like the oldest backpacker ever.  We were reaquainted with the enduring mystery of using European pillows for something other than obscure decoration, the reminder to mind the gap between mattresses to keep “man” hood in tact and James got immersed with einzelbettdeckenfreude (the joy of having a single bed cover).  The hotel was perfect…for us.  There was barely enough room to swing a cat, although cat swinging is probably frowned upon these days <joke deleted before making it to the editor, Lea>, and Lea is allergic anyway so we weren’t missing out. The shower “cubicle” more resembled a suspended animation pod where what gets cleanded is dependent on your arm length.  Lea definitely recommends the hotel with one tip: don’t get your feet dirty.

Munich was better than anticipated!  We walked for miles, with the realisation that my new iphone actually clocks fewer steps than the old one and thus explaining the mysterious recent weight gain; visited the Kunst museums at the Nymphenburg castle (which wasn’t what James had pictured); avoided making jokes about all the sausages with knoblauch; got to enjoy the famous German irony where at the LGBTQ+ run pink markets they were blaring James’ fav “carol”, Blue Christmas (Elvis), on our arrival (a similar sense of Christmas irony to the neighbouring Austrians, having penned Silent Night, despite the constant Church bells); and at same markets, desperate to play it cool, James instead spent much of the time bending over picking up his coins dropped after an innocent order of rainbow gluhwein and went on to shove a mini bottle of prosecco in his mouth when the adding of a straw caused it to explode.  So playing it cool looked rather more like he was hoping to be discovered by a roaming panto scout.

Christmas market count: 10

From Munich to Ulm, where we spent a couple of days with friends from home and their family, who showed us around both the town and the one amazing market at the foot of the Cathedral.  They taught us Weihnachtsmarktbudenschlängeltechnik (Christmas market weaving technique) and Glühweinstandwiederfindungsschwierigkeiten (the difficulties or finding your favourite Gluhwein stall in the market crowds).  They also showed us the closest, clean and free public toilets at the base of a carpark where they had also discovered and now displayed Roman ruins – in case you ever hear Lea proclaim, “I’m off to see the ruins” at a future party.  Aside from the amazing company, Christmas market and too many tequila shots (I’m conscious of internet naming anyone here out of privacy respects, but this point might make it a bit obvious who we were with), we also got to hear a car, wndows down in near zero degrees, driving past the ruins 😉 with “Living Next Door to Alice” playing! And of course, on seeing the impressive nativity, had the age old argument as to whether it would be harder to gather 3 wise men or a virgin…

Days without seeing green food: 5

Christmas market count: 11

To round out our Christmas tour of Germany, we had single nights in each of Esslingen and Heidelberg.  The former with the exceedingly amazing markets and the latter with the more impressive castle and served a side salad with my schnitzel!  Having four hotels in four nights, however, led to some serious Nachttoilettenorientierungsangst (night toilet orientation fear)!

Christmas market count: 18

In light of recent tragic events, we both feel so blessed and lucky to have had a safe and happy festive season in Germany, thanks to all the amazing people who put so much work into creating fairytales for so many strangers to enjoy. Merry Christmas to all, and we look forward to update you on our Christmas adventures in France.