Our spicy xmas journey started in Siem Reap!! Not long after arrival, Mr James was already being mocked by our tour-guide, while Miss Lea was being treated like the Princess she is, but it left me wanting to ask: Are you for Riel pal?? However, everyone was so genuinely lovely I just said Khmer you, gave him a hug and let them run Amok. (Ok, those puns were terrible, but got them out of the way early and posted when out of the country so as not to risk being put in the Phnom Penh Pun Penh)

We spent ~14 hours over 2 days with our personal tour guide / Professional photographer / Mr James teaser Chhong, who took more photos of us than we had at our wedding. Angkor Wat and the 5 other temples we saw were truly breathtaking and an easy reason to want to visit this amazing place. Other less easy reasons are the clear impact of setting up for 5 million tourists per annum and only now up to 500k post covid, resulting in immense pressure to submit TripAdvisor reviews at smile-point (only disappointment being your worry of not doing them justice) and watching 4 year old children walk around clearing beer cans from your table to support their families…totally removing the concern we had of buying beer from 10 year olds on the street. Not to mention the secret war, the need to have a genocide museum and subsequent civil war. All within half a century.

Our amazing hotel went full on Khristmas, playing Jingle Bells on repeat on xmas eve for so long even James wanted it to be boxing day, and reminding us that a hotel room in SE Asia really should have doors to the bathroom that are airtight from the rest of the room. Apart from the temples, we enjoyed an all-the-beer-you-can-drink tuk tuk food tour with a lovely guide Neera and driver Mr Yi (we initially struggled to understand Mr Yi, but, luckily, Neera was clearer), had amazing street food, sang along to great tunes at Hard Rock Angkor (small price to pay for handy dunnies and the applause we got from the band when we left….both times. In a good way…we think), discovered that blue cocktails had more booze than expected, pondered how you can make a negroni even more boozy (and hoped it wasn’t from a healthy dash of methanol) and learned that despite all the planning, Lea’s bartering skills had not improved…after learning James hadn’t the brain capacity to get around to organise a Christmas card for her and after earlier turning down 10 postcards for $1, we found a wine bar, had some wines++ and got offered a Christmas card to $2.50, to which Lea kindly countered: “How about 2 for $5?”

From Siem Reap we drove to Phnom Penh on Khristmas day!! 5+ hours + lunch! Along the way we saw lotus fields, rice fields, fires, cattle in the fields, buffalo in the fields, cattle on the road, dogs on the road, cats on the road, sticky rice vendors, sticky rice vendors, beer ads, beer ads, beer ads, beer ads, beer ads…got thirsty and drank beers thanks to superliminal advertising, learned the art of the triple overtake: tuk tuk overtakes, bike, who is overtaken by a truck, who we overtake and push oncoming motorbikes into the dirt. All the time wondering if our driver has a good life insurance policy…as a passenger, I sure hope not! However, he got us to our destination in one piece and found an unforgettable spot for our Khristmas lunch looking over a lake covered in pink water lilies, which was just laably.

Phnom Penh was a big change from Siem Reap. We were reminded of the simple pleasures of plastic straws…in plastic cups, carried in plastic bags, and the magic of eating baby octopus on a driveway and roast chicken on a dirty bench, we were also reminded of the downside of an all you can drink sunset cruise mixed with the need for a toilet, an otherwise empty craft beer/coffee house, attempting to preserve cash by paying with credit card, having the card declined, trying another one…and another one…yeah and another one and waking up to the cold sweats induced by messages from your credit card provider asking if you’d been ordering a shop out of tacos in Florida.

Despite an accidental chilli* at our first stop of our first food tour in Phnom Penh (another all beer inclusive tour on Christmas night with 6 other people who don’t drink…a real Christmas first for us), we had a surprisingly great time in the capital. Amazing food, street art and, it should go without saying again, ridiculously lovely people, despite of (or perhaps because of) what they’ve endured. We loved it from our first craft beer house (non frauded one that is) to our last few hours with some unorganised relaxing and several green fairy cocktails ( / wine for one of us) and started to miss it before we even left. Reminding us that absinthe really does make the heart grow fonder.

*Accidental chilli: When you purposefully and (somewhat) soberly add tiny, whole green chillis into your dish for flavour and accidentally scoop one into your mouth, and stupidly start chewing on it wondering if it’s lemon grass, and then try to keep cool while casually eating all the limes and drinking all the sugar cane juice you can find on the table.

https://europez2a.com/sx-2023/