After delay upon delay, including a missing pilot at JFK, to get us home from the US, we were looking forward to an uneventful start to our next trip. And as luck would have it, it was indeed uneventful…for the first 6 hours. Then we actually had an aborted take off in Singapore, in an A380 half way down the runway quickly changed our luck. Another 3 hours on the tarmac ensued as they somehow managed to fix the mechanical issue and we waited for the brakes to cool down!

On arrival at Heathrow we could breath a sigh of relief and awaited our Love Actually style greeting, before lining up for 2 hours to then find out my bag had been lost. This was actually perfect as after the aborted take off I was confident my undies still had a few more days in them. After 2 days, Lea started offering me to try hers and it took all my powers of persuasion to convince her this hadn‘t been a 15+ year elaborate ruse of always packing my undies in one bag hoping for this moment to come. And besides, these ones were starting to grow on me..actually.

Anyway…I don‘t want to bore with tails of woh as the troubles of travel are short-lived, but include them because it‘s Christmas…and at Christmas you tell the truth. A tradition dating back to the first Christmas and the immaculate conception. “Honestly, Joseph, it was God!“. And one that continues to this day through Santa.

After a lovely greeting and lunch with our gracious hosts at their lovely home in Greenwich where we were presented with awesome Christmas jumpers (taking the numer of jumpers James had access to to one…so don‘t judge the photos, it‘s half necessity and half Christmas spirit…who am I kidding I would have worn that everday anyway), we were treated to a Panto at the local theatre. It was a traditional Christmas performance of Robinson Crusoe and very quickly we could see why so many Aussie stars from Neighbours and Home and Away travel to perform in Pantos, for a lesson in subtlety. The shows are aimed at children, but certainly entertain the adults. There are 4 shot cocktails on offer, that you can take into the theatre, and more overt sexuality in a children’s show than in the last rendition of tie me kangaroo down…

On our second day in London, we travelled into town to see the Borough markets where Tones asked James if we should get some brandy ‘n‘ cider. James was aware that the English aren‘t renowned for their hygeine so wasn‘t sure if he was offering the girls the latest in brandy based disinfectant, but when he received the mulled cider with an extra shot or two of apple brandy things became much clearer…for a bit. James and Lea continued over Tower bridge, with more brandy ‘n‘ cider, toured St Paul’s and went to Harrods before we all met up at Winter Wonderland in Hyde park. An incredible set up for young and old, with the highlight being a carousel tuned into a bar!! Which Lea described as…horseome.

Day 3 included a walk from London Bridge to the Tate Modern, where we saw a busker dressed as Santa playing “If I were a rich man“. James thought it was strange that a Santa would choose to play Jewish songs, but even stranger for any Santa to be playing Fiddler on the Roof. At the Tate, there was a fascinating movie playing called “The Clock“, in which each short scene included a shot of a clock/watch from other movies that counted along in real time. It was amazing, not just to watch, but to think of all the time spent researching looking for clocks. Unless they used some sort of facial recognition software…Other than the Tate, we got out to Kensington to see the Natural History Museum and back up he British Museum where we saw the Rosetta stone and so many Egyptian mummies that were just…petrifying. After all this we went to Covent Garden and Leicester Square for more Christmas markets, which was by far the best bang for buck Xmas hit in the heart of London.

Day 4 was Christmas Eve!!! We were treated to a sky high breakfast bubbles in the xxxx tower with an absolutely fabulous view over London. Our first double decker red bus ride took us along the Strand to Trafalgar square, where we then walked to Hamley‘s toy store in Sohoho. At Hamley‘s, Lea, who had forgotten she was wearing a jumper saying “Mrs Claus“, was accosted by an elf demanding, “why aren‘t you at work!!! Did you get the day off??? Very lucky…VERY LUCKY!!!“ Unfortunately, for this brilliant improving elf it would be some time until we realised what she was wearing and appreciated his true genius and the energy to keep in character, which took real elfort.

On Christmas day we were spoiled with as good a turkey roast as you could hope for…having never really hoped for a turkey roast, accompanied by goose fat soaked potatoes…… amazing!!! After having waited in line at 7am on Christmas Eve to pick up the turkey, Lea delerious with Christmas joy decided to impose an extra challenge on our hosts by purchasing a jar containing at least the body fat of a dozen geese and enough calories to feed a small African nation. Christmas lunch was worked off with a post sunset walk (5pm) through the Greenwich gardens to the observatory where we stared up the lights of the city and straddled the meridian line and James learnt that GMT didn‘t stand for a drink for the undecided, having (hopefully) thought prior that it was Gin and Mmmm Tonic??

Having spent Boxing Day exploring the many o‘ pub in Greenwich as well as the South Wharf Christmas, our final day included a trip back to Westminster where we explored the Mausoleum turned wedding venue of Westminster Abbey. If you look past the fact you‘re in a church, it is a truly humbling experience to simultaneoussly stand where the mortal remains of Newton, Darwin, Hawking, Farraday, Rutherford, Kelvin, Dickens, Chaucer, Kipling, Churchill and so many others. You‘re literally standing on the shoulders of giants to see further, but actually to write a crappy travel blog.