So it turns out that the plural of moose isn’t in fact meese as one Canadian lady who tried to take advantage of us in moment of sheer terror would have you believe…I’ll explain later, but other possible post titles included: “The Rockies and Bullwinkle” or “Are you a man or a moose?”

Having worried about the drive into the Rockies for months, we were confronted with picture perfect driving conditions so all of a sudden had absolutely nothing to worry about!! That wouldn’t last long….

Before heading to Lake Louise, we made a few stops along the way. The first was a pretty, little walk along a river through the trees. We were completely alone when James pondered whether bears would be more likely to eat a human just before hibernation season so we decided to cut it short, as risking our lives for a trail named “Skunk Cabbage” didn’t seem worth it, despite the obituary material it may provide.

Our next stop was the mirror-like Lake Emerald. So inspired by the beauty were we, that we decided to hike around the lake without checking a) how far it was, and b) what to do when confronted by wildlife. We remembered from our time in Yosemite that if you see a bear or a mountain lion you need to stay still for one of them and run from the other…just not sure which for which animal.

The walk started out being lovely. The scariest moment came as James, pushing for the perfect photo for the readers, walked a little close to the lake and started to hear cracking underfoot. Not having walked on ice this thin since the beaver jokes in the previous post he backed away carefully. I’m sure there’s a gag in there about crack and ice, but I’m not clever enough to…roll it all together…is that how you do ice?? No? How about: James-1, Ice-0, stick that in you pipe and smoke it..I really don’t know how to use drugs.

A little later / further away from help, we heard what we thought must have been a small waterfall into the lake, so we wandered over to investigate. Upon closer inspection we thought, “it must be people swimming”, then we saw some faces and thought, “oh no…it’s actually horses, how weird??” Then the panic set in as we realised it was a group of 4 moose (not meese)…3 “babies” and one big horny father walking in the edge of the lake. Unfortunately we were only ~2m from the edge of said lake, where we acted like snow and froze…apart from James’ shaking legs. We had no trees to cover us from their sights as the babies freaked and ran away. As the daddy then passed by, any thought James had to get out the camera to get a selfie with this magnificent looking beast were quickly quelled by the picture of what those horns could do with my burger bloated belly. The Canadians that later took this piss out of us, told us how lucky we were to have seen them as they were 60 and have only ever seen 2 wild moose! They then looked very relieved when we told them how close we were, saying we were lucky again, with a slight different intonation and adding “that’s a little too close eh?” NB: The photos of the moose below were supplied by these guys. What followed was another hour hiking around the lake, trying to take in the beautiful views rather than focus on the moose footprints on the path and the parting words of our new friends, “we’ll send you guys ahead in case of bears eh?”

Comparing notes afterwards, Lea and I both agreed this was as scared as we’d ever been in the wild. Not even being stranded in an open top jeep in Zimbabwe in the middle of the night listening to the lions on either side of us while waiting for help that was coming ‘just now’, or being stuck in a canoe in 4” water on a creek in Zambia staring simultaneously at a lion, a hippo and a herd of elephants as they all stared back was quite as scary. Lea commented that was safe because the guides had guns, James confirmed to Lea that they might have had guns, but they certainly didn’t take them in the boats. It’s hard to judge retrospective fear, but maybe the canoe situation might be number 1 for Lea now. NB: scorpion to the face is clearly number 1 in fear factor, but not considered in the wild…as it was really in tents.

We then spent 2 days staring at the incredible Lake Louise from the comfort of our room or the bar (taking too many photos…sorry). Ie. back to normal holidaying. Our last night in the Rockies was in the surprisingly stunning Banff. A gondola up a mountain to take in 360 degree views of more snow capped mountains, lunch at the strange, wonderful Banff Springs hotel and a night spent ‘chilling’ out in front of yet another gas fireplace.