Here were are back sitting on a Paris balcony in the Marais, one day short of a year since we last arrived in this most beautiful of cities.  There was a small, and important, difference this time…we caught the train in. A much more Seine move given last time we literally didn’t speak to each other for 24 hours after driving in.  Just picture 2 people with natural BRF*, who don’t usually talk much, but now trying to actually look angry and remain purposefully silent. If it wasn’t for Paris being Paris, then it might have all been over at honeymoon #4. Which is why we love it so much and are here for honeymoon #…let’s say X.  (PS: That’s Roman numerals not algebra.)   *If you’re not sure what BRF is, then either google or I’ll post a pic of Lea’s Passport photo.

Desperate not to try and repeat the amazing time we had last year, we started out by squeezing into our “nice” clothes and heading to an obscure opera at the Ganier Opera house…just as we did last year.  And we almost lasted through all 3 acts! It didn’t quite live up to the heights of Platee from 2015, but with plenty of lutes, harps, harpsichords and…an unrequested sex scene to kick off, at least we knew what continent we were on.  There was something about a guy using a Hymen for protection, someone playing with marbles in Lesbos, and then a bunch of young male dancers in loin cloths with aluminium foil for hair for no apparent reason.  Although the reason did become apparent as they started grappling half naked (which half you wonder?) young female dancers and performing simulated…acts, that by the look of these poor boys probably had them holding their breath.  This end to the first act was just enough to get us to come back for the second, but, unfortunately, the hooters at the end of the second act didn’t help as giant owls started running around on stage.  We can only guess how the third ended…because we were drinking Champagne on our balcony chez nous.

To get us off (pardon) our balconies…and away from the Marais, we went on a food tour of Saint-Germain.  The highlights being: a lovely American lady who got so drunk on 2 glasses of wine she forgot her brother’s name, but then justified it by saying it was just her brother-in-law, which allowed James to finish off all the bottles with the reasoning he could still remember the names of his brothers-in-law…as long as you include nicknames; James (with the pre-wine shakes) knocking over glasses and dropping the cheese board, but catching the cheese with his knees…before Lea went on to eat said cheese (post wine); and the look on Lea’s face when she realised she’d eaten a pig’s snout.

We’ve been out for a lovely dinner; sat on our balcony eating croissants and drinking mimosas (a couple of times); accidentally went to another Michelin star restaurant for lunch where James decided to start cutting down on the food intake and left a single salmon roe egg on one of his plate to be delicate, and Lea struggled through the biggest lump of sweet breads (that were neither sweet nor bread) that you’ve ever seen, before shaking in terror when presented the short breads for dessert…AND we scored 4 glasses of free Champagne because they accidentally changed the order our desserts came out, which was amazing as we firmly believe desserts should just come out when they’re ready; jumped on a train with 3 half empty (or full??) bottles of bubbles and wine to go watch the Eiffel Tower from the Trocadero and wander the streets of the city of lights on Friday night with our “walkies”; and we plan to do absolutely nothing on our last day in France.  There’s cheese and 3 bottles of Champagne in the fridge.

If anyone is judging our Paris bludging, back off! In TWO weeks we’ve been to: Paris, Bordeaux, Pauillac, Saint Emilion, Cognac, La Rochelle, Amboise, Saumur, Angers, Mont Saint Michel, D-day beaches, Bayeux, Camembert, Livarot, Honfleur, Rouen, Giverny, Versailles and PARIS!  I think we need a holiday.

PS-turns out we did do something on our last day, we went for a walk and found ourselves in the middle of a rave along the banks of the Seine.  It actually worked out well as we had planned on covering our shoes in urine just before packing our bags anyway.