After a quick stop in Troyes (which was “c’est Troyes bien”) we arrived in Épernay, staying on the Avenue de Champagne…which seemed like as good an address as any to start.

Unfortunately, somehow, the previous meals of French classics such as “dix-sept fromages avec pain” started to catch up with James (who remains vigilant at not using the same joke in sequential posts by mentioning the ‘pain’ bit must have been in English) as he swelled up to a size that would have been enough to inspire the Montgolfier brothers.

Deciding it was only fit to be full of gas in Champagne, the honeymooners hit the streets (or at least the one aforementioned avenue). They (James) burped and farted their way along the Avenue like something out of a Willy Wonka movie, without inheriting any of the amazing Châteaux, and managed to get to two cave tours and three more tastings in their short time. All the while somehow avoiding aiming at the annoying Brits asking (“so how do they get the bubbles in?”…even though they accidentally discovered it) and declaring, in my best French, “I fart in your general direction.”

A nice dinner of more meat followed (to try and unclog those bowels…where James did order a salad to start!!  Who knew that would mean a bowl of potatoes, bacon and cheese with a shaving of lettuce?), before heading to a tour of the impressive Veuve Clicquot cellars the next day in Reims (another classic honeymooners spot..veuve=widow in French).

POP!!! Pop…pop pop…